A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is bad at catch The twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the soan of 5 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down

where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops