What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Five guys one rape.

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Women's rights.

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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