whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Q:why did the chicken cross the road. A:to get back to the farm he was raised on

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's white and red all over? A baby in a blender

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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