What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

What do you call an arab ?

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...