why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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