Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

lewis=cardiac

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

one of the idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops