What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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