What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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