Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Good job, son.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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