Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

it

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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