I'm going to rewrite history. History.

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

A Mormon walks into a bar

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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