"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I am High How about you?

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops