Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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american idol

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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