If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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