Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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knock knock Goodbye

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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