How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops