there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops