What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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