What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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