What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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to see a bad joke look above

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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I like your hair

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Rick Perry.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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