how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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