Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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