Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now" "Free forever"

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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it

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops