What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

Daniel is a fag

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

Your mom is so poor; she doesn't have a job.

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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