The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops