What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +2

After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

taking out the trash... at night

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats green and slimy? green slim

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops