Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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