what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Five guys one rape.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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