Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

Rick Perry.

Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

women's rights

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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