What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Kim Kardashian.

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what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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who just made fun of katie matt

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops