Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Gay rights

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause Jamaican me crazy.

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Chris Hanson with To Catch A Predator.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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hi im paul!

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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