a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops