What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

What's big? Jupiter.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

What did the snake say to the rat?

How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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