How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Look at your hand. Made you look!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My nipple is bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops