Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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whats black and yellow and screams? A bus full of black kids going over a cliff.

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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