Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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whats black? the colour

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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find the o 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duh its up top

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

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