Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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I don't always browse the internet. But when i do i prefer Anti Joke.con

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why was little Alice and her family at the graveyard? Well someone had to come at her funeral...

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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I asked her where you were.

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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