what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

Immigration Laws

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

black chicken. kfc

how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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