A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -5

2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wolfjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

autistic kids rock

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man walks into a bad part of town he is shot 13 times and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops