Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

thumb_up thumb_down

A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

thumb_up thumb_down

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops