2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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