Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Q: On a plane, a black man does not grab a bag of peanuts, while everyone else does. Why? A: He has allergies.

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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