What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats funny about this joke? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The EPA.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops