Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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Why didn't the black man understand an anti-joke? Because like any other member of the human race, he expected a typical joke structure to occur, starting with a misleading introduction which then using surrealism or misguidance trails into a humorous punchline.

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four because snakes don't have legs.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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Microwave

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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