Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Fine, ladies first.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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