Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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