Lacrosse

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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Laura Pratz..

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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women's rights

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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You have three biscuits. Your friend eats two. How many biscuits do you have? A: 3 Your friend is bulemic so he throws them both up, so you still have them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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