In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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chuck norris is a little b|tch

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Hair

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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