what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

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Popsicles

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Rick Perry.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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