My nipple is bleeding

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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45.

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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Hair

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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