Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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